


Storybook of Seventeen Fairy Tales

by LlamaCow



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Crack, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fluff and Crack, Frog - Freeform, Goldilocks - Freeform, Humor, I swear I'm funny, Little Red Riding Hood - Freeform, M/M, Minghao the frog prince, Princes, Sleeping Beauty - Freeform, adding more pairs as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25000069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlamaCow/pseuds/LlamaCow
Summary: Fairy and other tales re-imagined with a Seventeen cast and my sense of humor. Come on in for a dose of happy endings and a lot of crack.EDIT: mostly happy endingsCurrently up: JunHao (Prince & the Frog); Boogyu (Sleeping Beauty); Jeonggyu (Little red riding hood); Verkwan/Boogyu/Seungkwan + Hiphop (Goldilocks); SoonHoon (The Happy Prince)
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan & Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan & Kim Mingyu, Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Kim Mingyu, Boo Seungkwan/Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu & Yoon Jeonghan, Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi & Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Wen Jun Hui | Jun & Xu Ming Hao | The8, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 16
Kudos: 44





	1. Overview

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter will serve as an index for this series as each chapter will be one tale. I do plan on adding more in the future and will add more pairings as I post. I wanted to explore some pairings I have never written before, but also revisit my favorites. Please keep in mind that most, if not all, of these stories are supposed to be FUNNY and are somewhat ridiculous, but I'm hoping some people out there share my sense of humor.

**The Prince & The Frog...and the Princess **(word count: 1794)

 _A spoiled princess, a desperate frog and a handsome foreign prince._

Pairing: Minghao x Junhui 

(This is the one that started it all. This is pure CRACK and yet sweet.)

**The prince in the tower** (word count: 2055)

_A Sleeping Beauty tale where Prince Mingyu is desperately fighting dragons and door locks to get to the one locked away in the tower and prince Seungkwan is just a little desperate._

Pairing: Seungkwan x Mingyu (ft. Jeonghan as an evil(?) sorcerer.)

**Little Red Riding Hood** (word count: 1997)

_Jeonghan is sick of that wolf stalking his sister and sets out to end it. He didn't expect the wolf to be so enticing._

Pairing: Mingyu x Jeonghan 

**Goldilocks & the four Bears **(word count: 1191)

_Four bears? Since when are there four bears?_

Starring: Seungkwan as Goldilocks and Hiphop team as the Bear family. Pairing? Is it still a pair if it involves multiple people?

**The Happy Prince** (word count: 2193)

_A story that, despite its name, is quite depressing._

Starring: Soonyoung as (the statue of) the Happy Prince and Jihoon as a little swallow that lands at his feet. Guest appearances by: Mingyu, Minghao, Wonwoo, Chan, Seungcheol, Jisoo, an angel

Pairing: Jihoon x Soonyoung

**Coming soon (?):**

The Little Merman: Starring: Seungkwan as the little merman (who might have a leg fetish), Mingyu as the prince, Jihoon as the sea witch, and Hansol as the...stable boy?

Jihoon, let down your hair~: Rapunzel except maybe Jihoon doesn't mind being so far away from social interactions (Yes, I'm making Jihoon Rapunzel, not Jeonghan. HA, in your face typecasting!) Pairing: Jihoon x Jeonghan

Maidgyu: A cinderella story. Pairing: Mingyu x Soonyoung (ft. Minghao and Seungkwan as fairy godfathers who will make him an offer he can't refuse)

And more...


	2. The Prince & The Frog...and the Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know...like the Princess & the Frog but...different.   
> Pairing: Minghao x Junhui

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this weird piece of whatever. I hope someone enjoys it.

She was blonde, skinny, rich, and a little bit of a bitch. Well, more than a little bit. The Princess of Dunerell had lost her mother the Queen at a very young age and her father the King had overcompensated the loss by giving her everything she asked for and more. This had resulted in a conceited and spoiled young piece of royalty whose only positive qualities were her outer beauty and her claim to the vast Kingdom of her father. By the time the King realized he was doing his daughter no favors in raising her in this way, it was already too late. The reputation of her ugly attitude was only second to the reputation of her exquisite exterior and it was the sole reason princes and other noble men still made attempts to gain her favor. All in vain. Those that weren't immediately rejected (“ _ How could I marry a man with such a strange little earlobe?” “Did you really think you could impress me with a unicorn? Lame.”), _ left on their own accord, having come to the conclusion that no amount of luscious lips, golden hair, or riches of land could compensate for being bound by marriage to someone with such a foul personality.

One spring afternoon Princess was taking a stroll in her favorite part of the capacious palace garden. She had just emptied a pitcher of lemonade on her poor handmaiden’s head, complaining that it tasted too much like lemons. “You incapable trout of a woman!” She yelled for all to hear. “Remove yourself from my sight and do not return to it until you have ingested the juice of a hundred lemons!”

Princess continued her walk and strolled by one of the bigger ponds, decorated by large lilypads. She stopped to gander at a pair of dragonflies engaged in some sort of mating ritual. Her eyes wandered further along the water and stopped at the figure of a peculiar creature. It appeared to be a frog, for all of its features were those of a frog. Yet, something about it was different. They way it looked back at her and the way it moved. The frog made a small jump to land on a lilypad closer to her. She scrunched up her nose in disgust. “Do not come near me, frog.” She spoke. “There is almost nothing more vile than a slimy frog who does nothing but eat flies and croak so loudly that it keeps me awake at night.” 

“Oh, but I am not truly a frog, my dear Princess.” The frog spoke and hopped closer once more. “My name is Xu Minghao and I was a handsome prince of a far away foreign land before being condemned to this shape by a sorceress.” The frog prince jumped another lilypad closer. “She told me that I could return to my former state if I found the one I was meant to fall in love with. She told me that his person would be of royal blood and a great beauty. You, my princess, are surely beautiful.”

Princess arrogantly raised her nose higher, “Well, at least you are no liar.” She looked down again at the slimy little fellow and huffed, “You speak fine words, but you are still a frog. If I am the great beauty this sorceress spoke of, where is my handsome foreign prince?” 

One more jump and Minghao the frog landed on the waterside, right by her feet. “The sorceres told me that her spell would be broken with our first kiss.”

A small indignant puff of air escaped Princess’s lips. “And so a frog you will stay forever more.” 

“Dazzling jewel, will you not reconsider? If you kiss me I will transform back and we can get married.”

She scoffed and more attempts to persuade the princess could not be made for the sound of herald trumpets announced the arrival of a prince who had come to ask for a hand in marriage. Princess turned around and walked away, already casting the frog out of her mind.

Minghao blinked to moist his eyes and watched as a young man donned in a robe made of rich yellow silk, adorned with the finest embroidery in a variety of colors, walked out to greet Princess. His silky black hair fell well past his shoulders and was partly tied back in an elegant ponytail. The light of the late afternoon sun caressed his flawless skin. Minghao hopped a little closer. He had to know the name of this fine specimen.

_ “Most honored Princess…” _ One of the servants spoke.  _ “...it is my pleasure to introduce to you prince Moon Junhui of-” _

“Moon Junhui.” Minghao repeated to himself. Mesmerized by the beauty before him he forgot everything else around. He just wanted to gaze at him from a closer point of view. Not from far below in the grass as he was now. Without thinking he started climbing and only with a loud screech erupting from Princess’s mouth did he snap out of his trance. That what he had climbed had been Princess herself. In a panicked rage she used her hand fan to smack him away. He flew across the yard and violently crashed into an old tree. He landed on the cold ground and didn’t move.

Prince Junhui rushed over immediately. He fell to his knees in front of the small creature and gently scooped him up in his hands. "Such cruelty. How do you fare, little fr-" He didn't finish his words, for as soon as the frog opened his eyes and looked up at him the prince found himself without breath. His eyes were the most magnificent eyes he had ever seen, human or otherwise. There was such a beauty in them that they deserved poems of which none would ever be able to do justice to the deep, rich complexity of the emotions swirling within them. 

It was ludicrous, the thoughts in his head. Was he not holding a mere frog? What was this pull? It felt stronger than gravity yet softer than wool from the Merino sheep.

“I feel better being held by your strong hands, prince Moon Junhui.” The frog spoke with a soft, gentle voice. 

“May I have your name, green gracious critter?”

“Xu Minghao. Prince Xu Minghao.”

“Prince Xu Minghao. I know we have barely made acquaintance and you must think me mad, but it would bring me great delight if I could- if you would permit me to-” As he struggled to find the right words he slowly brought his cupped hands carrying Minghao closer.

The moment their lips touched they gave forth rays of pure light that could be seen from miles away. Prince Junhui fell back on his royal behind and Princess let out a high-pitched shriek, offended by the bright light that dared attack her eyes.

Lo and behold! In place of the slender frog now stood a tall young man with a face more handsome than any description would have been able to express.

All her life the princess of Dunerell had never been shy expressing what she wanted. So now too she rushed forward and pushed Junhui, who was just getting back up, out of the way. "Yes! Oh yes, I will marry you! Our wedding will last for seven days and seven nights, we will have food prepared by the finest chefs in all the lands and my dress will be talked about for centuries to come it will be so beautiful!”

The former frog stared at her with cold eyes. Slowly he reached up to the back of his head where a bump could still be felt. “My apologies, Princess. I believe I spoke too soon before, when I spoke of a marriage between us. For the sorceress said I would love a great beauty and you, Princess, are not.” 

Junhui signaled one of his guards to hand him their cape and with an elegant swish (that hit the dumbfounded princess in the face), he placed it around the unclothed Minghao.

He knelt down on one knee and reached up to take his hand. "I came to this land hoping to find a partner that was beautiful and would enrich my own Kingdom. Yet now I believe I have found the most precious treasure in the world. Rarer than any gemstone and worth more than any tangible riches. True love. Gorgeous amphibian, won't you bestow upon me your hand in marriage?”

Minghao nodded affirmatively and pulled Junhui to his feet. However, before they could seal the deal with another kiss, a deafening cry of anger interrupted their moment. Princess was beside herself and in a crazed frenzy she grabbed and clawed at anything she could reach.

Junhui stepped forward to shield his betrothed from her and, along with everyone else, took a few steps out of the way. They let her rage, huff and puff by herself. The long overdue taste of being denied something that she wanted was clearly taking a toll on her sanity.

Eventually she let herself fall onto the ground and started to calm down. Her cheeks were stained with tears of frustration and anger. She looked around with viscous eyes and let them land on the pair of newly engaged princes. She got herself up again and pointed an angry finger their way. “How dare you humiliate me! I will cut off your fingers so you may never wear a wedding ring, I will throw you in opposite dungeons where you will be forced to watch each other die a slow death by starvation. I will-”

“You will not!” A deep voice bellowed across the yard. All eyes turned to the King of Dunerell. He made his way to his daughter with the biggest strides his chubby legs could make. “Enough! Enough of this. I can no longer tolerate what you have become. I fear what will become of my people if you were to ever sit on the throne.”

“But daddy-” Princess whined. 

“Silence! Go to your room!” He snapped his fingers and two of his manservants dragged her away. The king turned to Minghao and Junhui. “My deepest apologies. I fear I have spoiled her rotten to the core and I hang my head in shame. I shall prepare a feast! Let us celebrate the engagement of the prince and the frog!”

_ Hear! Hear! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the name Dunerell came from a theme park in the Netherlands that had a frog for a mascot and sounds very similar
> 
> I have a sequel in mind, but I feel kinda bad for Princess (she got addicted to licking frogs...poor girl).
> 
> Please, if someone thought this was funny let me know XD


	3. The prince in the tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Sleeping Beauty based story with a twist or two.  
> Pairing: Seungkwan x Mingyu

The charming prince Mingyu had used his mighty longsword to slice his way through the thorny rose bushes surrounding the tower where a beautiful prince was said to lay in waiting to be saved from a dreadful dragon. He kicked open the heavy wooden door and looked around for any danger that might befall him as he stepped over the threshold. To his right was a staircase leading up. The steps were covered in an eerie green smoke. With sword in hand he hurried towards it, but before he could reach it a dark shadow glided down and sent the prince flying across the room. A loud roar echoed of the stone walls and before him stood a dragon. It was smaller than he had expected a dragon to be, but that didn’t make it seem any less fearsome. Despite its beauty.

Prince Mingyu got back on his feet and swung his sword. The dragon avoided the attack and slashed his claws down one of Mingyu’s arms. The cut was superficial and most it did was remove his sleeve to reveal his strong arm underneath. 

_ Nice _ . 

Was that the dragon’s voice? Could dragons even talk?

Prince Mingyu blinked for less than a second, but he had already lost sight of the beast. He screamed in horror when he suddenly felt claws wrap tightly around him. He felt hot breath spread down the top of his head and down his neck as the dragon sank its teeth into his helmet. He feared for his life when the dragon pulled off the helmet and tossed it aside. He let out a strained groan when, instead of biting his head off, the dragon used its tail to tackle him to the floor and stepped on him with one of its hindlegs to pin him down. Desperately Mingyu looked around for his sword and found it close by. He managed to reach out his arm and wrap his fingers around the long hilt of it. With all of his strength he managed to turn around and take a swing at his attacker. The dragon jumped out of the way, taking another part of Mingyu’s clothing with him leaving his back bare.

_ Very nice _ .

The prince named Mingyu launched another attack. This time it landed. The dragon screamed out in agony and went up in smoke. That had actually turned out a lot easier than expected. Without bothering to pick up his helmet again the handsome prince made his way up the tower. With a slash of his sword he rid the door of the lock and stepped inside. In the middle of the otherwise mundane and empty room stood a large glorious bed. On it a young man. Fast asleep.

Mingyu approached and looked down at the face of the other prince. He was far more attractive than he had dared hope for. Cute, yet sexy. He swallowed. This was it. His moment of destiny.

~~~

Prince Seungkwan let out a sigh loud enough for the whole kingdom to hear hadn’t he been locked away in the highest room of the tallest tower in all the land. He was so incredibly bored up there all by himself. This whole stupid plan was  _ not _ working out. All he had wanted was a chance to meet some eligible bachelors so he could finally stop being single. He had been desperate enough to let his friend Jeonghan, who also happened to be a powerful sorcerer, convince him that locking himself in a tower surrounded by a treacherous sea of flowers and guarded by a dragon would be the right way to attract a man worthy of his attention. It had been  _ weeks _ and the few men that had shown up didn’t even get to the dragon part. Once again prince Seungkwan found himself disappointed in men.

He stared out the window at the setting sun. He might as well just knock back a sleeping potion and call it a day. He would tell Jeonghan tomorrow that he was done with this fruitless endeavor. He’d go back home and become a spinster.

The potion he took was enough to whisk him away right into dreamland. Not even the sound of the battle below or his door swinging open could wake him. In fact, only did he wake when he felt soft lips being pressed on his own.

His eyes shot open as soon as he realized what was happening. He stared directly into a pair of dark brown eyes.“What do you think you’re doing!?” He asked angrily and he quickly covered his mouth with his hand. He sat up and stared at the man who had dared kiss him without permission.

“I- I just...I thought-” The man stumbled over his words, backing away from the bed slightly.

Prince Seungkwan got up from the bed, his eyes still narrowed into a piercing glare. “How did you even get in here? What about Jeo- the dragon?”

“I, eh...killed.” He spoke ever so eloquently. 

The cute and sexy prince huffed, “I highly doubt that.”

“It is true! I fought it valiantly in order to rescue you, my prince! See how my garments have been torn to shreds by its mighty claws!” Mingyu found his tongue.

Seungkwan did look. It was true. He looked a mess. A hot mess. “What is your name?”

“I am Mingyu. Your name is Seungkwan, is it not?”

“It is.” Prince Seungkwan replied coolly. “Well, Mingyu, nice of you to stop by, but I think you should leave.” 

“W-what? But I thought that-” 

“Look, you can’t just walk in here and do what you did and expect me to-”

There was a sound of someone clearing their throat behind them and Mingyu immediately spun around and pulled his sword. In the doorway stood a young man with flawless skin, shiny hair and sparkling eyes.

“So sorry to interrupt.” He spoke with a voice smooth as silk. “Seungkwan, my dear, can I talk to you over here for just a moment.” The man glided passed one very confused prince and grabbed the other by his arm to pull him aside.

“W-who are you!” Mingyu raised his voice at the stranger.

“Don’t yell at my friend! This is Jeonghan. Not that it’s any of your business.” Seungkwan snapped back.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The one named Jeonghan hissed in Seungkwan’s ear in a voice completely drained of the sweetness from before. “I bring you this fine specimen of a man and you’re trying to kick him out?” 

“He’s a freak. He just came in here and started kissing me!” Seungkwan retorted with a pout on his lips.

“So? That’s what’s supposed to happen! Look…” He turned Seungkwan’s head to look at Mingyu, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room pretending like he wasn’t trying to listen to their talk. “...look at those fine arms and that strong back that I so skillfully exposed for you when I was having my little fun with him during our fight. I’m not saying you have to marry the guy, but would it kill you to at least give him a chance? I didn’t put this beautiful bed in here for nothing.”

“I was wrong. He’s not the freak here, you are.”

“Wasn’t it you who begged me to find you a man? I found you one. A nice one. I did my research, oh prince of princes. Not only is he extremely handsome, he’s also very kind and a good person. Did I mention he’s a prince as well?”

Prince Seungkwan took in Mingyu once again. He was indeed very fine. He sighed. He knew there was no arguing with Jeonghan. “Very well. Can you wave your wand and conjure up a nice dinner or something? I shall have a meal,  _ one _ meal, with him.  _ Then _ I’ll kick him out.”

Jeonghan smiled and pinched one of Seungkwan’s cheeks, “Good boy.”

After providing the two princes with delicious food and wine out of the best barrels and making sure that they actually sat down, the sorcerer Jeonghan took his leave.

“I just want to offer you my apologies for kissing you so suddenly. I have read too many romantic tales.” Prince Mingyu chuckled before he took a large bite out of a juicy steak.

Seungkwan took a sip of wine. “I forgive you. I apologize for snapping at you. You did face a dragon for me afterall.”  _ Although it was just Jeonghan _ .

The evening progressed well beyond Seungkwan’s low expectations. He found Mingyu strangely endearing and easy to talk to. He was almost willing to consider the possibility of perhaps seeing him again after this. He was certain Mingyu hadn’t lost his initial interest either, given the way he kept stealing glances at him. 

“So, can I ask how you ended up here in this dreaded place?”

“Oh, ehm, an evil sorcerer locked me in here.” He was his dear, dear friend, but Jeonghan was indeed an evil sly little minx.

“With what purpose?”

_ Fornication.  _ Seungkwan choked on his drink at his own indecent thought. He blamed Jeonghan’s remarks from earlier. That and the way the light in the room managed to emphasize every feature of Minyu’s near perfect face and the very distracting way the muscles in his arm moved.

“Are you all right?” Mingyu asked with concern in his voice and offered him a napkin.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. What were we talking about?”

“I was just asking why an evil sorcerer locked you in here, but now that I take a moment to think about it...I don’t quite understand how you were locked here against your will, but your friend from before can freely visit you. Couldn’t he have helped you escape?”

Seungkwan sat up straight. Time to come clean. “Actually...he’s the evil sorcerer.”

“What!? That’s some serious Stockholm syndrome, Seungkwan!”

Seungkwan sighed, “Okay, I’m going to be honest with you. I wasn’t exactly locked up here against my will.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I was so sick of being single that I asked my friend for help and his stupid brain came up with this ridiculous plot to lock me up in a tower and get some courageous man to rescue me.”

Mingyu’s face twisted with confusion and displeasure. “So I made my way through countless thorn riddled rose bushes and fought a  _ dragon _ just because you can’t get a date!?”

“If it helps, you were never in any real danger. That dragon was Jeonghan.”

The tall prince stood up from the table. “I can’t believe this. I’m out of here. All the best to you, prince Seungkwan. I hope we never meet again. Thank you for giving me a dose of reality when it comes to happy endings and romance.”

“Wait! Don’t leave! I can understand you’re upset, but you must have had your reasons for coming here in the first place.” Seungkwan stood up also.

“If you must know...I was hoping to meet my one true love here. But that was clearly a mistake. A silly dream from my boyhood. I even thought you were cute. Goodbye.” He turned on his heel and was ready to storm off.

“You think I’m cute?”

Mingyu turned back around and stared at the other man. “That’s what you got from that?”

“I…” Seungkwan had to take a chance. He had found through their talking that he quite liked this prince and Jeonghan was right, he looked fine as fuck. “...I think you’re nice. And hot.”

Mingyu didn’t make another move to leave.

“I’m sorry that I got you here under false pretenses, but no other dating tactic had ever worked for me and...I was lonely.”

Mingyu stepped closer. “Am I the first one to get as far as your bedroom?” He asked.

Seungkwan nodded.

“You really think I’m hot?”

Again the young prince nodded.

“Permission to kiss you?”

Seungkwan nodded once more. Not more than two seconds later Mingyu’s lips were on his own. 

The next morning Jeonghan let out a happy sigh as he stared down at the scene before him. Mingyu was sleeping on his stomach, face down into a pillow and one arm swung over Seungkwan’s naked body. Seungkwan, in turn, had one leg wrapped over Mingyu’s leg. A wonderful mess of limbs. Sleeping beautifully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "...become a spinster." get it?


	4. Little Red Riding Hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring Jeonghan as little red riding hood (sort of) and Mingyu as the wolf (sort of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I'm not into furries

Jeonghan wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his arm. He looked up to see the sun shine brightly through the treetops on this autumn day. Chopping wood for the coming winter was hard work and he did not care for it. 

He heard a rustling noise coming from the bushes. He looked to find his little sister struggling to get through the foliage with her wicker basket in hand.

"Haven't I told you not to stray from the path, Little Red?" He asked her, leaning one arm on his ax logged into the wood.

"It could not be helped, my dear brother. That wolf was following me again. I'm sure of it." The girl let out a defeated sigh, "The dark creature frightens me. I do so want to deliver our goods to our grandmother and the other people who rely on us, but I'm afraid that one day the wolf will stop keeping his distance and attack me."

"I will not let that happen.” Jeonghan stepped forward and gently removed a small twig stuck in her hair. “Tomorrow give me your red riding hood. I will pose as you and get the wolf to approach me. I will put an end to this." 

Thus, the next day Jeonghan placed the red riding hood around his shoulders and pulled the hood down low to cover his face. He carefully placed a pistol in a holster around his chest, covered from sight by the hood. He let down his long hair to look more like his sister and borrowed one of her dresses. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. While he thought he looked rather stunning he couldn’t help but wonder if doing stuff like this was part of the reason he was still single.

He said goodbye to his worried sister and headed out into the forest. It didn’t take long before he could feel the wolf watching him from the darkness surrounding the path. After a few minutes of being followed Jeonghan decided to try his luck and tempt the beast. He ‘accidentally’ dropped one of the items in his basket and he bent over, slowly, to pick it up. It was very faint but he could hear a low growl coming from the bushes. Now he knew for sure that he had the attention of the wolf. He stood back up and continued walking. When he spotted a large tree root on the path he saw another chance. He tripped over it and fell down with a loud high-pitched moan. He made sure his dress curled up to expose his legs. He had his face turned away from where he knew the wolf was, but he could hear the sound of heavy paws getting closer. He dared to finally face the wolf and the moment his eyes locked with the big amber colored eyes his breath hitched in his throat. He knew he was supposed to be frightened, but there was something so enticing about those eyes. His red riding hood had fallen back and Jeonghan knew there was no way the wolf didn’t know he was not his sister.

The wolf got closer and closer. He stopped with his paws on either side of Jeonghan’s legs. He opened his mouth and without breaking their eye contact ran his rough tongue over the young man’s exposed lower leg. It sent a shiver down Jeonghan’s spine. Not in a bad way. He reached out to feel the wolf’s thick fur. The animal leaned into the touch and closed his eyes for a second. So soft.

Suddenly the wolf’s eyes shot open again and Jeonghan hastily pulled his hand back. His mind went to his pistol wrapped around his chest, but before he could even move the wolf had backed away, back into the bushes. There was an orchestra of cracking noises and pained groans. Jeonghan scrambled back up. He gasped when a tall, handsome, tan young man stepped out from where the wolf had disappeared. He looked into the man’s eyes and understood. This was the wolf. He crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. “Well, well, well. Here I thought my sister was being preyed upon by a hungry wolf. Turns out it was a thirsty man.”

“Your sister? You mean the girl who usually wears that hood you are wearing now?” The man-wolf spoke.

“That’s right. The one you’ve been stalking. I disguised myself as her to put an end to that.”

“I apologize if I ever frightened her. It is just that there was a scent that drew me to her.”

Jeonghan scrunched up his nose.

"That scent...” He stepped closer. “...it was always so faint on her. I never realized it wasn’t hers. But I understand now. It’s yours.”

Jeonghan whipped his hair back with his fingertips, “And? What of it? What exactly is it that you want?”

“Your name for starters.”

“I’ll give you mine if you give me yours.”

“Mingyu.”

“Jeonghan. So,  _ Mingyu _ , what else do you want besides pleasantries? My leg is still dripping with your saliva.”

To Jeonghan’s delight a blush rose up to Mingyu’s cheek. “Do me a favor…” He bent down again to pick up his basket, making sure the wolf had enough time to take all of him in, “...leave me and the rest of my family alone.” He took an apple and walked over to Mingyu with it in his hand. He reached out for Mingyu’s big hand and placed the apple in it. “Here. An apple to quench your thirst.” He reached into his basket again and pulled out a napkin that he also handed to Mingyu. “You’re drooling a little bit.” He turned around and started to walk away. He looked back one last time. “Remember. I won’t be so nice if we meet again.” 

The next day Jeonghan told his sister that he would go out again to make sure that the wolf hadn’t returned. As he walked the path to his grandmother’s house he found himself hoping that the wolf had read through the lines of his warning. However, he arrived at his grandmother’s house without a sign of any canine-like pursuers.. He knocked on the door and went inside. “Grandmother? I have brought you your groceries. Where are you?”

“I’m in here, dear.” A voice came from the bedroom. Jeonghan understood right away that it was not his grandmother who had called out to him. With caution and a sense of anticipation he entered the room and there in his grandmother’s bed lay the wolf in human form dressed in grandmother’s sleepwear. 

“What did you bring me today?” Mingyu asked, still pretending to be Jeonghan’s grandmother for whatever reason.

Jeonghan placed his wicker basket on the nightstand. “Why grandmother, I hope you do not take offence, but what a deep voice you have today.”

“It’s so I can greet you better.” The wolf replied.

“Goodness, what big eyes you have!” Jeonghan spoke as he stared into the deep amber pools.

“It’s to see you better with.”

Jeonghan sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out for one of Mingyu’s hands. “My, my, what big hands you have!  _ Grandmother _ .” He wondered just how long Mingyu was going to keep this act up and take him for a fool.

“I-it’s to better hold you with.” A blush of shyness crept onto the wolf’s cheeks and colored them pink.

Jeonghan smiled sweetly and he ever so lightly ran his thumb teasingly across Mingyu’s lower lip, “Well, well, what big lips you have.”

“It’s to better kiss you with.” Mingyu leaped forward, but Jeonghan was faster. With one swift movement he got up, grabbed hold of Mingyu’s arm and threw him off the bed onto the wooden floor. He pulled out his pistol and aimed it at the wolfman. “Didn’t I warn you to leave me and my family alone? What have you done to my grandmother?”

Mingyu hoisted himself up with the use of the bed. “She’s fine, don’t worry. I’m not so terrible that I would attack an innocent old woman. She is visiting her neighbor I believe. I knew you were coming and I just wanted to see you again.”

Jeonghan did not lower his pistol, but his voice was softer when he spoke again. “With what purpose? To assault me like you just attempted to do?”

“No! I got carried away. I thought the words spoken between us were of a flirtatious nature. My apologies if your warning yesterday were your true feelings, but I had to see you again so I could know if you felt what I felt.”

Jeonghan lowered his pistol finally and shook his head, “Did you truly think that dressing in an old woman’s garments would be the best way to do that?”

“Do I need to remind you that you were wearing your sister's clothes only yesterday?”

“You into that kind of stuff?”

"W-what?" The wolf stammered

"Is that why you're back? Did you hope to catch another glimpse of me in a skirt?" Jeonghan stepped forward with confidence, while Mingyu tried to back away but was stopped by the edge of the bed against his lower legs.

"I didn't mean...I'm not just interested in you because of that."

Jeonghan smirked like the tease he was, "But it's part of it?" It only took one small push with his fingertips against Mingyu's chest to get him to fall back onto the bed. "How about now? Now that I'm in my regular clothes? Do I still have your attention?"

Mingyu let out a low growl, "Yes."

Jeonghan straddled down on Mingyu's lap, "Then show me what you got, wolf."

"A-are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm joking? I'm offering myself to you. Completely and willingly. Ravish me."

It was all Mingyu needed. He wrapped a strong arm around Jeonghan’s waist and threw him down onto the mattress. Allowing his claws to take shape he undid the buttons of Jeonghan’s shirt with one smooth stroke. He pulled the sleep garment he was wearing over his head and threw it aside. It was  _ all _ he had been wearing.

Jeonghan stared at the freshly exposed body with a dark smirk. "My, Mingyu, what a big-" He was cut off by Mingyu’s hungry lips taking over his mouth.

~~~

Jeonghan felt no need for subtlety as he stared at Mingyu, butt naked, going through his grandmother’s closet to pull out the clothes that he had hidden there. “Tell me, how do you feel about chopping wood?”

Mingyu turned back to face him. “Is that a euphemism?”

“No. How about you come over to my house for dinner and as a bit of after dinner exercise you chop some of my wood for me.”

“Again, is that a euphemism?”

Jeonghan stood up from the bed, also still without clothes, and he wrapped his arms around Mingyu’s neck. “If you take care of the firewood for me,  _ I’ll _ take care of your wood any time you want.” He pecked him on the lips. He walked over to the other side of the room where his shirt was tossed onto the floor and bent down to pick it up. “That was a euphemism.”

Not one minute after Jeonghan and the wolf Mingyu had gotten dressed they heard the front door open. Not wanting to deal with his grandmother Jeonghan pushed Mingyu out of the window and climbed out after him. They walked the path back to Jeonghan’s house hand in hand. Mingyu was over the moon and he didn’t care how much wood Jeonghan would want him to chop. He’d chop down entire forests if it meant he could remain close to him and be engulfed by his heavenly scent. Jeonghan, too, was quite enamored. He could already imagine the cold winter nights warmed up by the fire in the hearth and the wolf in his bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it somewhat disturbing that they did it in grandmother's bed? Kinda, but fairy tales are pretty fucking disturbing anyway (look up the original ending for Sleeping Beauty for instance...).


	5. Goldilocks & the four Bears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of a young man with beautiful hair who stumbles upon the house of the Bear family and decides to have look inside.  
> Seungkwan as Goldilocks and HipHop team as the Bears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek

Seungkwan put his hairbrush down and stared at himself in the mirror. He turned his head to the side to make sure every strand of his golden curls was in place. Ever since he was little his hair had caught everybody’s attention and had earned him the nickname ‘ _ Goldilocks _ ’. It was his most praised feature and he took special care to maintain its beauty. 

He was out on a stroll in the forest when he stumbled upon a quaint little cottage. There was a name plate next to the door.  _ The Bear Family _ . Getting closer he noticed the slightly open door and the smell of fresh porridge coming out to tease him. 

“It wouldn’t hurt to just look around for a bit…” The boy with the golden locks said to himself as he stepped over the threshold. Inside he found a large table with three bowls of freshly made porridge placed upon it. He picked up one of the spoons from the table and dipped it into the smallest bowl. As soon as he placed it in his mouth he yelled out. “This is far too hot!” He stared angrily at the innocent bowl of semi-liquid food and moved on to the second biggest. Again he placed his spoon in it and brought it to his lips. He scrunched up his nose. “My, this one is too cold for my taste.” He moved on to the last and biggest of the bowls that, strangely, had two spoons next to it. “Oh wow, this has got to be the best porridge I have ever eaten! Yes, this one is just right!” 

Without thinking he continued to stuff spoonful after spoonful of the delicious porridge into his mouth and down his throat. He kept eating until the entire bowl was empty. “Oh dear…I only meant to sneak a taste.” He looked around the cozy living room and spotted three big chairs. “I know! I’ll simply wait here for this  _ Bear _ family to return home and hope they won’t be too cross with me after I bat my eyelashes and apologize. One look at my adorable golden locks and I’m sure they’ll forgive me.” 

He walked over to the first chair. A big robust armchair it was. He sat down, but no matter how he twisted and turned he couldn’t get comfortable. “No, this one is too hard.” He sat down in the one next to it and sank so far back into the cushions that he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get out again. With some struggling he managed to pull himself out. “No, this one is too soft.” He looked at the last chair. It was wider than the other two and could probably fit two of him. “This one looks just right.” he said and he let himself fall down on it. A bit too hard it turned out. With a loud crack one of the chair’s legs broke and Seungkwan found himself on the floor.

He stood up and rubbed his sore behind. It wasn’t hurt more than his ego. He let out a frustrated sigh. He was only making the mess worse. He walked around the cottage some more and found the door leading to the bedroom. There were three beds pushed together in the middle of the room. All the porridge and chair breaking had tired the young man, so he sat down on the edge of the bed closest to him and bounced up and down. He found it too hard. He rolled over to the middle bed. Too soft. He started to notice a pattern and, almost as expected, the final bed felt just right. Almost instantly after he had placed his golden locks on one of the pillows he drifted away into a sleep. 

When he woke up he let out a loud yell. He sat up straight and stared at the four figures standing next to the bed. All handsome young men. “A-are you the Bear family? You’re not bears.”

The broadest of the four smiled at him. “Were you really expecting actual bears to live here?”

“What’s your name?” The next one spoke. His face was sharper than the broad one and his glasses highlighted his fox-like eyes. And he was...holding hands with Mr. Broad Bear? 

Seungkwan hesitated, but decided to introduce himself as he was known by most. “I’m Goldilocks.”

“I’m Seungcheol.” Broad Bear released his grip on fox-eye Bear and brought his hand to Seungkwan’s chin and tilted his head up so he had no choice but to look at him. “Do you always wander into other people’s homes like this?”

Seungkwan swallowed. “I, eh...I just-”

“You should be careful.” Fox-eye ran a hand over Seungkwan’s hair and down his cheek. “A pretty boy such as yourself. I’m Wonwoo, by the way.”

Both of them pulled away. “Mingyu, Hansol…” Seungcheol said directed to the other two Bears, “...why don’t you two take care of our guest?”

Seungkwan watched Seungcheol and Wonwoo hold hands again and walk out the room. Nervously he looked back to the remaining two people. The taller of the two had flawless tan skin and the strands of his shiny black hair were slick back to reveal his forehead. The other had a jawline that one could cut themselves on and eyes that were easy to drown in. 

They sat down at his sides and Seungkwan didn’t know whether to look left or right.

“You have such beautiful hair,  _ Goldilocks _ .” The tall, tan man spoke.

“It’s Seungkwan, actually.” Indeed, most people called him Goldilocks, but something about the way it rolled off the man’s tongue made it sound different. Loaded with tension of a different nature.

“Goldilocks suits you.” The man on the other side of him said. “I’m Hansol Bear. That’s Mingyu. We’re not really related, just to be clear. We just all live together as a family of sorts.”

Suddenly there was a hand on his thigh. The hand belonged to the one named Mingyu. “You ate our food.” He whispered.

Seungkwan gulped. “Y-you’re not going to eat me, are you?”

Mingyu Bear leaned in closer and smelled his neck, “If that’s what you want.”

“W-what? Why would I want you to eat me?”

A laugh came from his other side, “Ohh, look how cute and innocent he is, Gyu.”

Another hand on his thigh. “Goldilocks, does the carpet match the drapes?”

“My house has wooden floors. I- W-what are you doing?” Little Goldilocks Seungkwan asked as both of them kept getting closer and his body was heating up under their touches.

“You broke our chair.” Hansol twisted his fingers in Seungkwan’s golden hair. 

“I-I’m sorry. The door was open and I was just curious. I didn’t mean to eat all your food and break your chair or fall asleep on your bed.”

“You’re not the first young man to wander into our cabin, you know.” Hansol spoke.

“The first one was too quiet.” Mingyu continued.

“The second one was too loud.” Hansol added. “But you…” They each stroked one of his cheeks as they spoke in unison. “You seem just right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so this end is supposed to be SEXY not CREEPY XD Whatever happens next will be enjoyed by all o.o but I wanted to end it here, haha.   
> Welcome to the polyamorous Bear family LOL


	6. The Happy Prince (Soonhoon)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a little swallow lands at the feet of the statue of the Happy Prince he delays his journey south to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on Oscar Wilde's story 'The Happy Prince' (which, despite its name, is not a happy story at all)
> 
> It had a semi-happy ending??

In the center of the city stood the statue of the Happy Prince. With his sapphire eyes, golden leaves covering his body and his original handsome face, the Happy Prince truly left all who saw him in awe of his joyous beauty as he reflected the sunlight most magnificently. The day when a little swallow decided to take rest between his feet was no exception. Although it was already evening, he looked no worse in the moonlight. 

The little swallow’s name was Jihoon and he was late flying south this year. All the other birds had already left before the winter could take hold of the country, but this little swallow had been foolish. He had been stuck in a dead-end relationship and after the inevitable bad break-up he finally decided to make the journey down to a land where the sun would shine warmly on his feathers. On this day, he had flown in from a neighboring city. He needed to take a rest and the feet of this statue offered him shelter from the sharp wind that was blowing to announce the change in seasons.

Right as he was about to drift into the land of dreams, he felt something wet fall on his little head. Annoyed by the sudden wetness he looked up to the sky. He had been certain the size of the statue would have protected him from any rain. Curiously he found that the sky was without rain. Yet again a drop fell down right next to him. He gazed up once more and this time he realized it hadn’t been the clouds that were weeping. It was the statue. Slightly annoyed that his rest had been disturbed, Jihoon flew up and perched on his shoulder. He had planned to tell the statue off for crying on his head, but as he looked at the tear filled eyes in the light of the moon he felt nothing but pity.

“Who are you?” The little swallow asked the statue.

“The Happy Prince.” The statue answered.

“It doesn’t suit you. You have drenched me in your tears, Prince.”

“You’re right. It no longer feels like me. You may call me by my true name. Soonyoung.”

“Soonyoung, why do you cry? Isn’t it a beautiful night? A bit cold perhaps, but you’re a statue. It shouldn’t bother you too much.”

“Oh little Swallow, I’ll tell you why I cry. You see, when I lived in my palace I was indeed a happy prince. No misery or misfortune was ever allowed to enter through the walls of my estate. I was blissfully unaware of the pain and sorrow in my city. However, now that I stand as a tall statue I can see it all. When I had a human heart I never knew tears and yet now that I stand immobile and with a heart made of lead, I can only weep.”

Jihoon was just a swallow and didn’t concern himself with the suffering of humans, but the sadness with which the prince’s voice was drenched made his little bird heart ache. He couldn’t offer any words of comfort and so stayed silent. He listened to Soonyoung as he told him about a young couple living in the city.

“Both of them have handsome faces and kind hearts, but while their faces once showed warm smiles and eyes filled with happiness it has been replaced by sadness and hollow cheeks.They have a tailor shop, you see. They have always worked hard to create the finest clothes for the rich and yet now can barely afford food for themselves. A few months ago their old sewing machine broke and they have been saving money since then to replace it. Meanwhile, sewing by hand. By a cruel twist of faith, just as they had saved up enough, their embroidery machine broke also. Intrinsic to the garments demanded by the nobility is the finest embroidery and now that they have no choice but to do it all by hand, they cannot keep up with the deadlines and are losing business. They work day and night and barely eat to try and scramble enough money together. I fear they won’t last much longer.”

Jihoon shook his feathers in an attempt to regain some warmth in his small body. The prince’s shoulder was colder than his feet. “That is very sad.”

“Oh, little swallow! I have a wonderful idea. Won’t you stay with me one night and be my messenger?” 

“Sorry, prince, but I really must get going soon. I only meant to rest my eyes for a few hours and continue my journey south. My name is Jihoon, by the way.”

“Just one night, please little Jihoon. Take the ruby from my sword and bring it to the tailors. It will mean so much to them and to me.”

Jihoon sighed. “Fine. One night.” He flew down to Soonyoung’s sword and plucked out the shining red ruby. He flew across the night sky until he saw the storefront of  _ GyuHao tailors _ . He hopped through the window of the apartment above it. He found the couple sleeping together on a narrow bed in the corner of their small dilapidated bedroom. He placed the ruby down on the floor next to the bed and returned to the shoulder of the Happy Prince. “Curious.” He said to him. “It’s a cold night and yet I feel warm inside.”

“That’s because you did a good thing, Jihoon. Now sleep, little swallow. You must rest.”

The next morning Jihoon awoke and he flew down to the river and took a bath. He could overhear a few townspeople remark how strange it was to see a swallow so late in the year.

“I know, I know.” he mumbled to himself. Once more he flew back to Soonyoung. “Well, Happy Prince, I really must away to more southern regions now, lest winter get me.”

“Oh, Jihoon. Won’t you stay with me one more night and be my messenger again? There is a young man who lives in a tiny room above a butcher. He has beautiful eyes like a fox, wavy dark brown hair, and lips that always hang open cutely a little bit when he is thinking. He is working on a marvelous play for the theatre, but his fingers are so cold he cannot write. There is no fire to warm him and he is faint with hunger.”

The little bird, who truly did have a good heart, sighed. “Very well, I will stay with you one more night. Shall I take him another ruby?”

“I’m afraid I have no more rubies, but my eyes are rare sapphires. Bring him one of those.” 

“Soonyoung, I’m not going to pluck out one of your eyes.”

“Do as I ask, little swallow. Helping the young man is more important than my eye.”

And so Jihoon did as he was asked. He found the young playwright with his head on his writer’s desk, shivering in his uncomfortable sleep. Jihoon read his name on top of the page of his play. ‘ _ Jeon Wonwoo’ _ it read. He placed the sapphire that was once the Happy Prince’s eye next to Wonwoo’s pot of ink. He would find it on the morrow. 

At daybreak the little swallow flew down to the harbor and spent his day looking at ships. At the end of daylight he was watching a muscular sailor heave a heavy looking barrel on his broad shoulder. “Captain Hong!” The man shouted. “This is the last of it.”

“Thank you, Seungcheol.” A young man dressed in a captain’s uniform replied as he walked closer. “My, look at this.” He said and both men looked at Jihoon cleaning his feathers. “A swallow this late in the year. You better get going little fellow.”

“I know, I know.” Jihoon mumbled and he flew off, back to the shoulder of the Happy Prince once more.

“I’ve come to bid you  _ adieu _ , prince. This evening I must really go.” He said to him.

“Oh swallow, little Jihoon. Won’t you stay with me one night longer?”

“Winter is here and the snow will soon follow. Where I’m going the sun is nice and warm. I won’t forget you though. I’ll bring you a souvenir next spring.”

“Down below is a young boy by the name of Chan. His father has fallen ill and cannot work. He can get better if only they could afford to buy him the medicine he needs. But, alas, they cannot even buy shoes. Every day and every night Chan dances on the streets to entertain people who walk by in the hopes that he might earn a few coins. He dances his feet bloody. Please, Jihoon. Pluck out my other eye and give it to him.”

“Fine. I’ll stay with you one more night. But you can’t ask me to pluck out your other eye. It would leave you blind.”

“Just do it, Jihoon.”

The little swallow sighed, but complied. He plucked out the other sapphire and flew down to the square where the boy named Chan was dancing. He was sitting on the cold cobblestones with his arms wrapped around his knees. He was allowing himself a short moment to rest. Jihoon placed the sapphire next to his feet and gently stroked him with his wing to get his attention. He flew away before the boy could see him. 

Again he landed on the shoulder of the Happy Prince. “There. I have done what you asked, but now I’ve left you blind. I won’t go south anymore, Soonyoung. I’ll stay with you.”

“No,” The prince replied, “You cannot. You have to go south now.”

Jihoon scoffed, “I offer to stay and  _ now _ you want me to go? I’m staying and that’s final.” He flew down and slept between Soonyoung’s golden feet.

The next day he flew around the city and told the prince what he had seen. He didn’t sugarcoat it. The rich were happy and well-fed while the poor struggled to live another day. He also told them how the tailor couple, the young playwright, and the dancing boy and his father were much better off now. All thanks to the kindness of the prince.

“Jihoon, my body is covered in fine gold. Pluck it off, leaf by leaf, and give them to my troubled people.”

And so it happened. The little bird flew tirelessly to and fro with the gold from Soonyoung’s body. Soon the whole city was filled with the sounds of joy and gratitude. People no longer had to go hungry or cold. 

The snow came, followed by frost. The street glistened in an almost magical hue of silver. Jihoon knew he would have been wiser to fly south, but he couldn’t bear leaving the Happy Prince. When he felt that death was closing in on him he made one last flight to Soonyoung’s shoulder. “Prince, I fear I must leave you now. Before I do…” The little swallow hesitated. He hated uttering his feelings out loud, but he knew that if he held his tongue the regret would follow him well into the afterlife. “I love you.”

“I love you too, little Jihoon.” The prince answered and he sounded truly happy. “I will miss you, but I’m glad you’ve finally decided to head south. Give me a kiss goodbye, won’t you?”

Jihoon sighed, “Silly prince. I’m not going south. I’m going to greet Death.” With the last of his strength he moved to kiss Soonyoung on his lips. Before it was over he tumbled down and landed dead at the statue’s feet. There was a loud crack. The prince’s leaden heart was broken.

The next day the mayor of the city walked by and looked up at the statue of the Happy Prince. He was shocked by the fallen state of it. “My, how shabby the prince looks!”

“Shabby indeed.” A council member agreed. “His sapphire eyes are gone, so is the ruby of his sword and he is no longer golden.”

“And there is a dead bird at his feet! We must really decree that no bird is allowed to die here. It doesn’t fit with our city’s image.”

They all agreed it was best to take the statue down and melt it down to create a statue of someone else. There was no purpose for a Happy Prince who looked so drained of happiness.

“How curious.” said the worker in charge of melting the statue of the prince. “This cracked piece of lead won’t melt! We must throw it away.” 

Another worker took it out and threw it in the trash. There the prince’s broken heart was reunited with his love. The lifeless body of Jihoon the little swallow had been thrown in the same pile of trash. 

The thick clouds in the gray sky let down a single beam of light and an angel descended from it. With gentle hands the broken heart and the little bird were picked up and brought to paradise. There they could live together forever and be happy without worries of winter or sadness, free to love and be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I started writing these fairy tales I was planning for it to mostly be crack or at least humoristic, but this story is just so sad it was impossible. Although I do think I slipped in a few funny moments here and there


End file.
